A Series of Double Dactyls
Neatness Counts
Higgledy piggledy
Sarah the resident
write your prescriptions so
they can be read.
Patients affected by
pharmacological
illegibility
could end up dead.
Wash!
Higgledy piggledy
cryptosporidium
flourishes where things are
not very clean.
Wash your hands thoroughly--
ultrahygienically.
All sorts of pathogens
lurk there unseen.
You can find it online
Higgledy piggledy
where is the bird flu? I
worry 'bout avian
threats from above.
Go to the Internet
to find the database
ornithological
birdflu.gov
Is it real?
Higgledy piggledy
Dr. O'Donovan
is this new method for
treatment of gout
evidence-based or just
scientifictional?
Ask the librarians--
they can find out.
A plethora of learning
Higgledy piggledy
New England Journal of
Medicine publishes
once every week.
Articles, interviews,
biotechnology--
online or print it's all
there if you seek.
If we don't have it, we can order it
Higgledy piggledy
Arnold the resident
needed an article
for next week's class.
Docline and Odyssey
interlibrarily
sent what he needed and
thus saved his
(The muse deserted me at this point, so the verse remains incomplete.)
Don't worry--they'll go away eventually
Higgledy piggledy
Alan the teenager's
chest caused embarrassment
teasing and fears.
Fort'nately pubertal
gynecomastia
tends to resolve itself
within two years.
Study, study, study
Higgledy piggledy
Simon the resident
MKSAP will put your skills
under review.
Go to the library
they have a full set of
examinational
questions for you.
Good advice for almost everyone
Higgledy piggledy
Sidney J. Fortescue
get your cholesterol
down from its peak,
stop smoking, follow a
Mediterranean
diet and exercise
four times a week.
Calm down, we have what you're looking for
Higgledy piggledy
Nurse Sally Peterson
went to the library
all in a muss.
There she found guidelines for
postperioperative
care of the patient with
out any fuss.
And after that, the thermometer
Higgledy piggledy
pediatrician Dave
What is that thing that is
starting to puff?
That's a device called a
sphygmomanometer,
otherwise known as a
blood pressure cuff.
Not that any of the fellows in this hospital have doubts
Higgledy piggledy
Fellow Jane Richardson
went to the library
with doubts to quell,
there did some reading and
armed with this knowledge the
cardiological
transplant went well.
We keep it hidden until you're ready
Higgledy piggledy
Dr. O'Shaunnesy
what is this stress test you
keep under wraps?
Festooned with electrodes you
ultra-aerobically
run on a treadmill un-
til you collapse.
No, it was some other Ramses*
Higgledy piggledy
Ramses the Pharaoh's son
suffered life's troubles, of
that there's no doubt.
X-rays and autopsies
archaeological
showed he had syphilis,
arthritis and gout.
*Disclaimer provided upon advice from our legal department.
C. diff? We have a solution. Literally.
Higgledy piggledy
Clostridium difficle
Brings dehydration, diarrhoea
That leaks.
To combat this malady's
Pathogenicity
Give flagyl and fluids and vanc
For two weeks.
If these don't vanquish the
Antimicrobials,
Try fecal transplants
Through rectum or nose.
Couples quite often share
Immunsynchronicity
Making these transplants
Effective but gross.
Fun! with a purpose*
Higgledy piggledy
Fred the librarian
wrote all this doggerel
in two quatrains.
As with mnemonics he
hopes that these dactyls will
insinuatingly
lodge in your brains.
*Use of this phrase is believed to constitute Fair Use under U.S. copyright law. It's a literary allusion.
Released under Creative Commons: (1) You are free to reproduce these works at will without asking my permission. If you make millions of dollars off them, I'd appreciate it if you'd throw a few dollars my way. (B) Attribute them to me, Fred King, if feasible. (iii) If you make improvements, please send them to me at phred (at) phred (dot) us.