If Dr Seuss were a Hospital Customer Service Consultant

With apologies to Dr Seuss and a tip of the hat to Gene Zigler's immortal poem A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer.

When you're waiting for an hour for a doctor or a nurse,
And you felt bad to begin with and you're only feeling worse,
And the chair is so uncomfortable it makes you want to curse,
Then you want someone to understand, and so I wrote this verse.

Our patients don't come here because they want to have some fun,
This isn't Disney or Sea World--a day out in the sun.
They want someone to help them feel better right away,
And frolic in the sunshine on another pain-free day.

It doesn't hurt to smile bright to some bewildered soul,
And help them find the place they need to reach their treatment goal,
This hospital is like a maze with all its twists and turns,
With clinics, beds, and offices for hearts and lungs and burns.

Be patient with our patients who don't seem to understand--
Bad news is overwhelming and the challenges are grand.
So sympathize and empathize and show them that you care,
And tell them what they need to know: the how and why and where.

So help them fix their problems in their journey to be well,
And see it's possible to do each daily ADL.
Cuz if they know we're interested in what they have to say,
They'll take the time and effort to come back another day!

Primary Author: Fred King
Co-author, peer reviewer, and editorial advisor: Layla Heimlich

Released under Creative Commons: (1) You are free to reproduce this work at will without asking our permission. If you make millions of dollars off it, we'd appreciate it if you'd throw a few dollars our way. (B) Attribute it to Fred King and Layla Heimlich, if feasible. (iii) If you make improvements, please send them to phred (at) phred (dot) us.