MRSA

as performed by the Healthcare People

I wrote this in March, 2020, right before the Pestilence shut down most of the country. It's a great example of bad timing, which is one reason it hasn't been performed anywhere. The other is that I can't sing, nor can I find anyone who wants to make a music video of it.

Doctor, when a patient comes in
I said doctor, and he looks kind of grim
I said Doctor, get a bottle of blood
There are lots of tests you should run

Doctor, start with a CBC
Check troponin, lipids, and LFT
And then Doctor, right before you are done
There is one more test you should run

You gotta check him for MRSA
MRSA
Though he looks symptom free
With no pus and no blood
Get a nasal swab anyway

MRSA
MRSA
And be sure to wear gloves
After washing your hands
Joint Commission is coming today

Doctor, are you listening to me
I said doctor, check him for HIV
I said doctor, cuz we work in DC
Where HIV is epidemic

Doctor, if there's stuff you don't know
I said doctor, there's a place you can go
I said doctor, take a walk down the hall
To the medical library

Where you can read up on MRSA
MRSA
You can look through your notes
You can read Up to Date
They won't wake you if you fall asleep

MRSA (fade)

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